Hi...I'm a Witch training with Feri and Reclaiming initiates in the UK. On my blog I'll be posting my musings and thoughts on Feri, as well as any magico-religious experiences I think may be useful to others. Brightest blessings!
Please note: I won't post anything on here that is deemed "secret". Material that is already posted on the internet and is readily available to those who are looking for it will not be included in this definition.
In Feri Tradition, God Herself is seen as the Mother of all beings. She is the fabric of life, matter and energy, consciousness and desire. I have my most intimate spiritual relationship with the Star Goddess and although I don’t think She is actually a big woman in the sky, I see Her as a Goddess in order to have a relationship with Her. It is my view that as long as I have a good, strong relationship with the Star Goddess then all other spiritual relationships are secondary.
However, I love the specifics of the Star Goddess, the manifestations of Her that are more specialised. I love the mythology of the different Gods and Goddesses, who I see as fractals of the Star Goddess. So, while they are manifestations of the Star Goddess, they are independent beings (not just ‘facets’ of Her) and therefore I can have relationships with them as well.
My Feri relationships at the moment are mainly with the Blue God and Melek Taus. However, I love having a relationship with Ganesh (even though I think I’m quite neglectful…) and I am exploring Santería to see how I can have relationships with Elegua and my crowning Orisha, if I ever find out who it is.
This huge mish-mash of different Gods and Spirits can be quite confusing, and while there is no cohesion in it, I don’t see anything wrong with it. My relationships with my family are different to my relationships with friends, coworkers, pupils etc. Although my foundational practices are all done within the container of the Feri Tradition, I see nothing wrong with working with different Gods and the Orishas. However, I just hope I don’t culturally appropriate them more than they have been appropriated already…
It's been a very long time since my last post. Travelling round Europe, moving into a new apartment and starting a new job have generally not been conducive to keeping a regular blog. However, I'm back! I honestly have missed keeping up this blog, and I appreciate having an online community.
Generally speaking, my life feels very full at the moment, but not in the way I want it to be. My job takes up a lot of my time and it feels as if I do little else. My daily Feri practice has consequently suffered. I leave the house around 7.25 to get to work on time, so I have to get up pretty early (as I have mentioned in my blog previously). However, my intention to do it is still there, but sometimes sleep wins out. Ah well!!
I think my problem is that I am a very harsh personal critic. I set myself high standards and I berate myself when I fail to meet them. After discussing my personal practice with my teachers at the weekend, I realised I'm trying to cram too much into my practice. It feels as if I do a full ritual every day! My teacher Brighde made the point that she doesn't phone all of her family every day, so why would you call on every God and Guardian every day?
Soooo....another revision of my personal practice. I have decided to focus on key foundational practices and be open to a fluid interpretation of personal practice, as and when rites are 'revealed' to me. My foundational practices are as follows: Star Goddess prayer, kala, ha and flower prayers, heart alignment and sitting practice.
I have been thinking lately about practice. Rigorous daily practice is central to Feri and other Traditions in which one aspires to Adepthood. My own practice has waned of late – I have moved into a friend’s apartment for a couple of weeks which affords very little space for an altar. Obviously an altar should not be essential to an effective daily practice, but for me it helps enormously. I need somewhere to focus my body. I need somewhere for my eyes to look at. I just need it! Anyway, I have attempted to do a modified version of practice in my bed (the only place where there’s any room – the floor is filled with boxes) and it just didn’t feel right. So, for now I’m resigned to not doing a formal daily practice but as long as I say some of the core prayers on a daily basis I think that’s ok…for now.
I have also been thinking that daily practice falls under the umbrella of what I have termed the worship cycle (apologies if anyone has coined this before me). The worship cycle (for me) puts formal worship into the following cycles: daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and incarnationally. I will describe what I do, or aspire to do, for each of these cycles. I aspire to do these on a regular basis, but obviously I am still human. I don’t know who said it but I love the quote “the Goddess doesn’t want you to be perfect, but she still wants you to make the effort”.
Daily
For my morning practice I do:
1.Star Goddess candle and Star Goddess prayer
2.Grounding and gathering Feri fire in the belly
3.Short form casting of Circle
4.Prayer to the Ancestors
5.Prayer to the Fey
6.Prayer to the Spirits of Place
7.Acknowledging of Guardians
8.Prayer to the seasonal Gods of the Lemniscate
9.Prayer to the Twins
10.Opening statement of intention
11.Awakening of the body and souls
12.Ha Prayer and Flower Prayer
13.3 soul affirmation
14.Sitting practice
15.Blessing pentacle
16.Thanking Beings and closing Circle
In the evening I will do some form of divination to clarify the lessons I have learned that day. I used to do a reading in the morning but I found that I was influenced more by the tarot, rather than using it for clarification.
Weekly
I have figured that each day comes under the auspices of one of the seven Guardians of Feri. Each day, after acknowledging the awesome power of the other Guardians I wear the cord for the day’s Guardian, make an offering to Them (if They want it…) and say some fom of prayer. They are as follows, with the astrological significance to show my reasoning:
Monday (Moon) – Water Maker
Tuesday (Mars) – Shining Flame
Wednesday (Mercury) – Star Finder
Thursday (Jupiter) – Black Mother
Friday (Venus) – Guardian of the Gate/Keeper of the Black Heart
Saturday (Saturn) – Fire in the Earth
Sunday (Sun) – Heaven Shiner
On a Monday evening I will also do a puja to Ganesh. I figure that he starts things and Monday is the start of my week so it is better to ask for his blessings on this day. I have wanted to start studying Santeria but I want to know who my ruling Orisha is before I begin. Since this won’t happen for a long time, neither will my Santeria practices. When they do start, I will also give due worship to Eleggua on Monday mornings.
Monthly
Quite simply, the three moon celebrations. New moon, full moon, and dark moon.
Yearly
The Sabbats, New Year’s Day rituals, Holy days that are dedicated to various Saints and Gods, and my birthday are all celebrated on an annual basis.
Incarnationally
Birth, marriage, death, intitation, croning etc….Things that generally only happen once in one’s lifetime (or as the situation dictates).
In Reclaiming-Feri, there is a strong emphasis on personal relationships with the Gods and Guardians. This relationship has been the subject of several conversations I've had lately, and I realised that while I had met a couple of the Guardians in trance during our training sessions, I needed to trance and actually meet some of them for the first time.
So, on Wednesday evening I tranced to meet each of the Guardians to ask them what sort of offerings they would like. I figure that most human relationships are strengthened via gifts, so the Guardians would appreciate offerings every now and then (see my previous post on offerings and sacrifices).
I journeyed to each of the Guardians' realms and the experience blew me away. The way that I expected them to look was completely different to how they actually looked to me. And the offerings that I rationalised that they would like didn't fit either. Go figure. Now that I have this information and I have met them in their respective realms, I feel like our relationships can go that little bit deeper. I have found that I have been talking to them during the day too, which is interesting!
If anybody wants to know what offerings the Guardians told me they wanted off me, just let me know and I will email them to you. Or, better yet, ask them what they want off you!!
Phew! I’m still reeling from the weekend that I spent down near Glastonbury at my first Witchcamp, run by Avalon Spring, which is a community of Feri and Reclaiming Witches in the UK (with teachers from the US coming over too…more on that later!). The focus of the weekend was paradox and possibility, (re-)claiming ourselves as fully human and fully divine. The campsite itself was extremely luxurious, with a couple of dedicated ritual rooms and an outdoors ritual space circled by trees and bushes. The dorms were great too, with room for outdoor camping if that’s what you’re into. However, the best thing about the location was the food! The chef, Andy Murray, was fantastic and he has written a great book on vegan cookery, which I and most other Witches there duly bought. (And he signed it!)
The teachers that I met there were truly inspiring. As well as my regular teachers, Brighde Eire and Georgia Midnightcrow, I met Dawn Isadora and Susan Moonroot. Dawn is easily one of the most powerful and striking people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. She is the type of Witch I aspire to be; aligned, present, with a great sense of humour and fabulously wise. Susan was equally as inspiring, but in a more subtle way. She seemed quite quiet, but knew exactly the right thing to say. She is warm, grounded and also very funny (something I’m seeing as a Feri-Reclaiming trait…) I bought a couple of items from her stall that now sit proudly on my altar. Apart from the main teachers, the organising team was amazing, and I feel privileged to have been a part of the whole process. I hope that Avalon Spring can organise a longer Camp for next year.
A surprising part of the weekend for me was that I got in touch with the Reclaiming part of my Tradition. I have always maintained that I was training in Feri and that I wasn’t interested in Reclaiming (even though Reclaiming is what brought me to Feri). To me, Feri is serious, demanding, powerful, and magical. Reclaiming reminded me of feminist eco-hippies who were constantly banging on about The Patriarchy, with little or no focus on the individual practitioner’s spiritual progression. While I still maintain that Feri is the more individually powerful side of the Tradition’s coin and that Reclaiming is a bit more airy-fairy (dancing like bees, anyone?), I have come to embrace what Reclaiming has to offer. I now feel like I am part of a community. I appreciate the (sometimes frustrating) value of consensus. I like the open and inclusive nature of Reclaiming (while also loving that Feri is taught one on one – or two on twelve, like our group). So, as of this weekend, I would now say that I am Feri-Reclaiming. My teachers and Trad-mates didn’t let me forget my unfolding appreciation for Reclaiming!
Possibly the most Reclaiming-esque part of the weekend was when a few people and me tranced underneath a thousand-year old yew tree in a cemetery at 6am. I was actually given a new name during the trance, which tied together bits and pieces of symbols I’ve had recently. So, my new name is Leaf. I didn’t originally like this name. It’s very New Age-y and hippy. But now, I’m starting to like it. Dawn called it my ‘working title’ but the name conjures up positive images for me, so I think I’ll stick with it. I think part of its message is that I need to spend more time in the natural world, rather than constantly being surrounded by humans and human-centred creations (even though, obviously, they/we are a part of nature).
The group rituals that we engaged in were fantastically informative. I had never participated in a large ritual before, yet my teachers asked me to call one of the Guardians in front of twenty strangers! The dynamics of group ritual were very interesting. Sometimes things went very smoothly; sometimes we needed a bit of prompting. Nevertheless, energy was raised and magic was made. We created a ritual as a community on the Sunday and it was great to be a part of ritual planning. However, being a part of a community means having to get along with people that you perhaps don’t really like. The Pagan communities have their fair share of crazies and Feri-Reclaiming is no exception. It was a challenge to try and see the sacred in each individual without giving up my own standards.
Towards the end of the weekend I could feel a type of new energy running up and down my body. It felt ecstatic and deep and I can still feeling it running through me, although it is diminishing as time goes by. Perhaps this is the Feri current, and being in circle with so many initiates allowed me to feel the energy through osmosis. If that is what the current feels like, then I am very excited! I spoke to Dawn about what she looks for in a potential initiate and she confirmed everything my teachers have said. She looks for a strong vessel for the current, someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses, someone who has a dedicated personal practice, and someone who has a deep and engaging relationship with the Gods and Guardians. I have come back with a renewed commitment to these goals, and I have included a prayer in my daily practice to help me align myself with them.
There was so much more to this weekend that will remain unspoken, some of it because it is private and some of it because it can’t be expressed. Roll on next year’s camp!
In Feri, our relationship to the Gods and Guardians is not limited to a parent-child relationship as in other traditions, nor is it purely platonic. Sometimes our relationship to Them can be purely sexual. I remember I had a dream a couple of months ago, in which the Blue God appeared to me and proceeded to put his tongue down my throat. While this can be seen as a metaphor for spiritual teaching or transfer of knowledge (blah blah blah...), to me it was just horny.
This picture is an excellent example. I think this is a great representation of Melek Taus and perfectly captures His dark sexuality. Hot!!
(PS. This was sent by a friend. Seth, can you send a link to the site please?)
So, it's the day after our Feri training group's meeting and I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. I asked my teachers for initiation and they agreed to it.
So, I'm now officially on the path towards initiation, which is very exciting. But I feel slightly reserved because I know it will change me. Or, maybe it will just solidify changes that were already bubbling under the surface. Whatever happens, and whenever it happens, I don't think I'll ever be a hundred percent prepared for it.
Furthermore, part of me feels like I don't really need it. But, you know what, perhaps when you think you don't need initiation is when you're most ready for it. But (I realise there's a lot of 'buts' already in this post...) I'm just getting ahead of myself.
I change my daily practice on Beltane and Samhain in order to keep it fresh and not merely habitual. My daily practice for the next 6 months will be as follows:
Tomorrow is Beltane and while the Earth in my neck of the woods seems to be waking up, with the sunlight hanging around for a little longer each day, my personal energy is in conflict. On one hand, I feel more awake and alive, yet on the other my sexual energy has been on the wane. Usually the increased sun and light and heat get my juices flowing, but not this year. Now, normally it’s not that difficult for the juices to flow anyway (so to speak), but I haven’t tapped into the energy of the Wheel just yet. However, I feel so grateful that I can actually recognise that fact. The deep practice of daily self-awareness has helped me to recognise shifts in my energy. It doesn’t happen all the time (I’m nowhere near Adepthood!!) but I’m glad that I can observe such shifts on occasion.
This tapping into of energy has made me appreciate the importance of having a living, breathing teacher in Feri. Although I have learned a lot from books and the Internet, the interaction with a teacher has been the most important facet of my training. Feri tradition, as I understand it, is neither an orthodoxy nor orthopraxy, not defined by beliefs or practices. Rather, I have come to see it as a currential tradition. The transmission of the tradition is in the current of energy passed at initiation. Nevertheless, I do class myself as Feri even if I haven’t yet been initiated. I feel that being in a regular circle with initiates allows some of the Feri current to transmit via some sort of etheric osmosis, one which gives me a monthly preview of what’s in store after initation…which is when the real work begins.
During the last two days’ sitting practice, during which I try to empty my mind other than focussing on my breath, the infinity symbol, the lemniscate, has popped into my mind.
The first time, I just saw a stationary lemniscate symbol and a huge tunnel. I could peer through the tunnel and I caught a glimpse (only momentarily) of infinity, or at least the version of infinity that my finite brain could comprehend.
Yesterday’s sitting practice involved the lemniscate symbol but this time the lemniscate was flowing and flowing until the mid point grew in energy. This point then exploded and expanded into a disc that bisected the two halves of the lemniscate and carried on whirling. This then further grew into a sphere, which I saw as the universe.
Anyway, I can only barely understand what it all means but it sure is interesting stuff.
PS Oh yeah, and today I was walking past a woman with an infinity symbol tattooed on her neck. Cool.
Holy Mother, in Whom we live, move and have our being; from You all things emerge and unto You all things return...
About Me
Leaf
Manchester, United Kingdom
I'm a Witch training in the Reclaiming-Feri Tradition of Witchcraft with initiates in the UK. This is an ecstatic, queer-positive branch of Witchcraft, that combines the core practices of Anderson Feri with the best of Reclaiming (itself an offshoot of Feri). It doesn't have roots in Gardnerian Wicca (so is therefore not classed as Wiccan) but nevertheless has absorbed some popular elements of that tradition, such as the eight Sabbats.
I'm a 23 year old gay man, living on his own in Manchester and studying to be a Modern Languages teacher in Secondary school.
