Post-gathering jitters

So, it's the day after our Feri training group's meeting and I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. I asked my teachers for initiation and they agreed to it.

So, I'm now officially on the path towards initiation, which is very exciting. But I feel slightly reserved because I know it will change me. Or, maybe it will just solidify changes that were already bubbling under the surface. Whatever happens, and whenever it happens, I don't think I'll ever be a hundred percent prepared for it. 

Furthermore, part of me feels like I don't really need it. But, you know what, perhaps when you think you don't need initiation is when you're most ready for it. But (I realise there's a lot of 'buts' already in this post...) I'm just getting ahead of myself.

So...onwards, upwards, and inwards.