Romantic Intentions

What is an acceptable intention? If I have an intention for my life and/or my magic, I have to go through a series of checks to make sure it is a true Intention (capital I). I have to be sure that it is authentic and that all my parts are in agreement – I need to be clear that all of my souls and my body are on board for this Intention. My general process is using divination to explore the elemental implications of my intention. The five cards that I use explore how I feel about my intention through the five classical elements, which is very helpful.

I have been thinking about clarification of intention recently because I am conflicted about my romantic life. I am currently single but my intention is to find a kind, warm, intelligent and sexy partner to spend (at least part of) my life with. However, what are the motivations for this? Is it loneliness? Sexual frustration? Maybe even envy? I don’t know how to solve the paradox of wanting to be independent yet part of a couple. Society tells us that we must be part of a monogamous couple to find true happiness, yet people generally assert that to be independent is equally important. How do people do it?

In Feri, one of the core tenets is that we are not to submit our life force to anyone or any thing. This is true of a relationship too – I must make sure that I am coming from a place of stillness, of readiness and independence in my erotic and romantic encounters. This is difficult, but daily practice helps, especially sitting practice. When I sit, it comes from place of self-compassion and self-exploration. Sitting helps me to find out who I am and where I am going, to paraphrase Cora Anderson.

Another part of this situation is trying to purify myself from Disney-fied expectations (I could dedicate an entire series of Kala rites to this intention alone…). As Witches, we have the power to bring things into our lives, including love. However, the accepted wisdom says that the right person will simply ‘turn up’. Do we then not to magic for fear of conjuring up the wrong person into our lives? How about using a list of qualities that are essential in a mate? Or asking the Multiverse to provide the correct person, whoever that may be? Questions, questions…

…is there an answer?