Tomorrow is Beltane and while the Earth in my neck of the woods seems to be waking up, with the sunlight hanging around for a little longer each day, my personal energy is in conflict. On one hand, I feel more awake and alive, yet on the other my sexual energy has been on the wane. Usually the increased sun and light and heat get my juices flowing, but not this year. Now, normally it’s not that difficult for the juices to flow anyway (so to speak), but I haven’t tapped into the energy of the Wheel just yet. However, I feel so grateful that I can actually recognise that fact. The deep practice of daily self-awareness has helped me to recognise shifts in my energy. It doesn’t happen all the time (I’m nowhere near Adepthood!!) but I’m glad that I can observe such shifts on occasion.
This tapping into of energy has made me appreciate the importance of having a living, breathing teacher in Feri. Although I have learned a lot from books and the Internet, the interaction with a teacher has been the most important facet of my training. Feri tradition, as I understand it, is neither an orthodoxy nor orthopraxy, not defined by beliefs or practices. Rather, I have come to see it as a currential tradition. The transmission of the tradition is in the current of energy passed at initiation. Nevertheless, I do class myself as Feri even if I haven’t yet been initiated. I feel that being in a regular circle with initiates allows some of the Feri current to transmit via some sort of etheric osmosis, one which gives me a monthly preview of what’s in store after initation…which is when the real work begins.